Wednesday, February 28, 2007

India Journal 2006 #15 February 27-Insights and Thoughts


You may find this post interesting, or perhaps not and that is why I have noted in the title that it is mosting insights and thoughts about personal issues, so feel free to skip it on wait for something more interesting. In general, this trip is different from my other trips, (each trip has its own character anyway, but due to the nature of this trip, there really is not much "travelogue" stuff in it in general).

Well, after getting back to my room last night after 11, full of adrenalin and just plain good fun from the wonderful company and general nonsense talk of the whole evening, I found myself awake the entire night, not falling into a peaceful sleep until 6 AM. I awoke at 8:30 as usual, so the day was strange anyway, and spent most of it in my room...eating in the room, and finally, as a finale

having an amazing session with a young girl here...but that will be coming later.

Once I realized I would not be falling asleep, I figured I would make the most of my time and started out doing a couple of interesting, deep cleansing meditations. I figured they were in place following the physical (what I assumed was completely physical) detox I got with the panchakarma. That took up some time, and then still feeling completely awake, decided to do a full Reiki session, thinking it would relax me into sleep as it usually does. No such luck. While doing the Reiki as I usually do, almost every day, I had a profound breathing experience where I had the sensation of every pore in my body breathing...I could literally feel the breath, the air, going in and out of all the pores in my body, from legs up to my head. I felt completely energized in a very direct way, and felt as if I had slept for several hours by the time all this was over. To top it all off, I received a "message" which I was asked to pass on word for word to a young girl who I had spoken to briefly here. She was one of the girls at our laughing dinner in the evening, but I knew pretty much nothing about her personally, except her name and that she had a great smile and loved to laugh. The message was delivered basically the same way my own messages are given to me, but this is the first time I have ever been sent a message for another person! It spooked me a little bit and wasn't even sure I had understood correctly, but in the end, I decided to meditate again during the day on the matter, and I asked that if this message was INDEED for this girl, that she should come to my room to see me. (We had spoke very quickly about her coming around "one day" for a Tarot reading...never setting a date or anything). The second I finished my meditation, there was a knock on my door...guess who it was!?!? I will write more about this the proper order of events.

And then I began to relax into myself and "things" began to come the rest may not seem completely orderly, but I am putting down here things I understood that night and other things that followed in consequence the next day through to yesterday evening....

I have once again been placed in the role of Mataji, Mother, as I always seem to be in the end. The nurturing person who takes care of all the "children"...many of them almost my age, but never mind. I become the Mother figure very quickly. But in the past it has mostly been for girls and women. This time I have some guys in the picture as well. Perhaps this will finally give me some insights into the heart of my own son who I seem to be completely out of touch with.

In addition, many of the people I have met here are reflecting back to me issues I am still working on and lessons which I am still dealing with. "Proper listening", fear of getting to new places alone(even when walking, not only when driving), and opening the heart to loving relationships with the opposite sex. These 3 types have all come into my life as multiple examples over the past few weeks since I arrived here. I see through them, clearing, where I was, and how far I have indeed come in these 3 issues, but also where I still have to work.

When I finally awoke to a dreary, windy morning, I decided to order breakfast in my room, listen to music and just take a "day off" from vacationing! Music, reading, cards, maybe even dance a little in my room...and here is the next fascinating thing which occurred.

I was listening to Rikudei Am (Israeli folkdancing which I 've been dancing regularly for about 30 years)...I haven't felt like dancing since several months before my Father passed last October. Which means 7-8 months I haven't danced...the longest I've gone without dancing in all those years.

While listening to the music, all of a sudden I got the urge to get up and dance! I have a picture of my father always in my room, and I felt him looking at me with his lovely smile and saying "Go dance already, will ya!"...Turned to look at his picture and he is glowing with joy for me. So I finished my breakfast and began dancing right away. All the years I've danced, my father had never seen me actually dancing. Today he watched me for the full hour and we both had a great time!!!

Considering I hadn't danced in so long, and hadn't slept most of the night, I'm proud of myself and worked up a good sweat in the bargain. It's windy and cold so that was great. But I also realized something else re the Panchakarma treatments (and perhaps the cleansing meditation during the night, the reiki and breathing experience all added to this effect). My appetite had returned already a couple of days ago, but things were sitll not back to normal completely. This morning was the first time since my digestive system was shut down for cleansing by the treatments, that "what went in, finally began to come out". It was a way of saying: "You're completely cleansed of all toxins...including emotional ones, and ready to begin as fresh as new...and I immediately afterwards felt like dancing!

The whole nite of not sleeping, complex thoughts and issues continued to surface hour after hour...more detoxification of negativity in all forms...

Following all this...I did my nails and by then it was lunchtime, which I also had in my room.

The day passed and then, as mentioned above, I began contemplating the "message" which I had received during the night for this young girl. And, as mentioned, just as I requested validation etc., she knocked on my door.

I was amazed, and she was as well when I told her what had happened...about the message I received for her and my just finishing a meditation regarding the message and asking for her to come to me if I was truly meant to pass it on to her.

We spoke for awhile...I won't go into personal details, but it turns out that EXACTLY what I was told to pass on to her, were the answers to questions she has been asking for the past number of days about a certain aspect of her personal life. In addition, we did a tarot reading which gave much clarity to the issue, I gave her "homework" and she will come back in 3 days and we will continue. I was quite shaken by the whole thing and had a long "session" afterwards in a meditative state as well. It was all quite profound and uplifting...and I slept sooooooooo peacefully last night.

I woke to a really cold and rainy, today was just a "hanging around" day...but I am feeling very well and very pleased with all the last couple have days have brought me and taught me.

I am truly loved and blessed.