Sunday, February 24, 2008

#8 Feb 24, 2008 -Message from an Angel

OK…so, what’s happening? Why am I not writing? Because I simply don’t feel like it. I see things during the day which draw my attention, but it is not in the form of needing to report or “tell about”, but more in the way of mindfulness…being….being with and in the moment completely. I don’t even have the need to take my camera out as I thought I would, and take some videos. It is a very liberating feeling, I have to tell you. But I have been walking every day, each day in a different direction, and have so far discovered a restaurant in whatever area I happen to be when lunch time comes around, which will serve me good healthy food, and so I allow myself to eat whatever I feel like for my evening meal. Tonight I am going to Mamaji for Thali for the first time since I’ve arrived. My appetite is back and I am really hungry during the day. I have a snack in the afternoon as well, but so far, at least according to what my jeans are telling me, I have not gained any weight so far…I am feeling really good. Today I was out too long in the sun and fearing no toilet, did not drink enough, so have a slight headache, but nothing terrible. I also found, so far, 2 very clean public toilets during my walks which is good to know about.
I DID “redo” my room today and it is still small but feels a lot more homelike and I am happier now coming back into its energies…this also gives me a good feeling.
I am beginning to write some posts for my Mindfulness Journal which I hope will be ready over the next few days, but again, nothing because I “have to”…only because I
“feel like”. It is quite pleasant for me. We generally have so many things we “must” do that we don’t get around to the important things…to just “being”.
So, why am I writing at all today? To tell you about the first message I received…and it was so subtle, that I did not realize it was a message until a day later, and have not had the time to write about it since then.
While I was still not feeling entirely myself, and still a little despondent, and also feeling guilty about not “doing” anything with the short time I have here, I asked for clarity, direction, guidance before going to sleep one night, as I often do when I need insights and understanding.
Next day, I found a lovely e-mail from a wonderful friend I met last year in India, as response to my post #4. And after reading it once, and then once again, I realized that this lovely man was the angel sent to deliver the message this time. So I will copy most of the e-mail he sent, and just tell you that what he wrote was exactly what I needed to hear and was obviously a direct reply to my request the evening before at bedtime:

Thanks for the latest update. Pleased to have your news.
I totally empathize with your sense of a need to scale back a bit on
your "output" generally. I've been through the same introspective
analysis too. I regularly feel the need to interface with the greater
world and also my closer friends in a more interactive and
comprehensive way. Personally, though, I also know that I need more
time to ponder where I'm at and where to focus my energy next. I've
neglected some of my self-development - I need to spend a lot more
time just in contemplation and meditation - the problem for me is
getting focussed. . . . but it is difficult for people like ourselves to disengage or trim back our wider involvement in things. It is not a "cop out" or "reduced energy with age thing" but a maturity "thing" (for want of a better word ). I feel I need to evolve a bit to my own next level and that my "busy-ness" is just an excuse to put off my own inner development. I'm working on it anyway.
. . . You get lots of R&R and let the rest of the world stumble along a
bit. YOU are valuable too and deserve some downtime.

I am leaving it anonymous, but will just say that this person was just as surprised to find out he was an angel as I was. I LOVE the way things work!!!