India Journal 2006 #45 April 18-19...Beginning to See Things in a Differnt Light

Wednesday, April 18th

Went up to Bhagsu today. Even checked a couple of places to stay. Have an alternative if I decide to leave McLeod. Same place I stayed several years ago when my stuff was stolen...Seven Seas...they even remembered me. I'm worried there is no fan there but we'll see.

I want to move on Staruday and see how I feel being completely alone on my own for awhile. I am beginning to understand that what I wrote in one of my last journal entries in 2004 is true. I wrote that I had a feeling I would never return "to this place" again. Well, I've returned to McLeod but it is not "this place" anymore. It did nothing special for me when I first arrived,
at it always has in the past, and is not growing on me with time. Walking up to Bhagsu was just a nice walk. (discovered a nice Dhaba right near twon that has Mung Dahl Tali, so that's a find!!). I will go up to Dharamkot and if I am not hassled by Anil, it may be what I need to move my soul once more.

But I will still use this as a pleasant R&R place for now since I am already here.

Aside from everything else, it is reaining and nasty and although I am enjoying music in my room and cards and ready, I am hungry and the food here is not as it used to be, so will just wait out the rain and then go for dinner. It is a soft summer rain but still brings a chill to my body and am glad I kept the few warm things I did with me. I am wearing them now! If it sotps soon (it is now 5 PM) I will go eat something lite and see about a movie.

Later Same evening....

I'm beginning to come to terms with the place. It will be for me now just a nice vacation place. No expectations of finding what I once had here but accepting it as a whole new place and experience.

Had a late dinner. It is light until after 7 now, not like in the fall when it gets dark (and cold) by 4:30. And although it rained, it is still pleasant for walking. Not really cold. Came back to my room at 8 and had a quiet hour of music and off to sleep.

Thursday, April 19th

Got up early as I am used to here and now it is 8:15 and I am already down at Nick's for breakfast.

Sun is shining and it is really pleasant. Quiet at this hour of the morning as well. Streets empty of the daytime hordes and traffic.

Will check out one last hotel now and then make my final dcision about moving on Saturday. May go up to Dharamkot today..will see.

Well, met a few really nice people at breakfast...one nice lady from France whose daughter married a Kashmiri she met in Bhagsu and is now living with him in France. She is my age, also a grandmother, always worked privately and has no pension, and has the same idea as me to spend part of each year in India living and hopefully working. We talked about going together to Amristar and I will price things (so far got a price of 4200 rupees for a taxi there and back with overnight wait) and perhaps we will go together in a couple of weeks.

I am thinking of at least finding a Hindi teacher and trying to learn some more Hindi as long as I am here. Will check it out as well once I move.

When I finish here, will go up to Dharamkot by rickshaw (feeling lazy but still want to get up there for awhile)....and hopefully have a full and pleasant day.

Namaste for now
Jane